Gardeners and landscapers are incredible optimists that are definitely encouraged by starting a-new.  Have you considered how you will maintain your landscape and its effects on our Lake?   Hopefully your resolutions will include some ideas about your Florida Yard for the coming year. 

One of our Master Gardeners recently sent me a short story that has been circulating in e-mail and on the Internet for some time.  I first saw it in 1999, and have seen it several times since – no one seems to know its original source.   I have taken the liberty to modify it slightly to reflect local conditions – so it may give us all some insight on how we take care of our Florida Yards. 

"Winterize your lawn," the big sign outside the garden store commanded. I've fed it, watered it, mowed it, raked it and watched a lot of it die anyway.  Now I'm supposed to winterize it?  I hope it's too late.  Grass lawns have to be the stupidest thing we've come up with outside of thong swimsuits!  We constantly battle purslane, oxalis, violets, fleabane, and clover that thrive naturally, so we can grow grass that must be nursed through an annual four-step chemical dependency.

Imagine the conversation The Creator might have with St. Francis about this:

"Frank you know all about gardens and nature.  What in the world is going on down there in the Sunshine State ? What happened to the dandelions, violets, thistle and stuff I started eons ago?  I had a perfect, no-maintenance garden plan.  Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon.  The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracted butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds.  I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now.  But all I see are these green rectangles."

"It's the tribes that settled there, Lord.  The Suburbanites.  They started calling your flowers 'weeds' and went to great extent to kill them and replace them with grass."

"Grass?  But it's so boring.  It's not colorful.  It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and sod worms.  It's temperamental with temperatures.  Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?"

  "The summer rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy."

"Apparently not, Lord.  As soon as it grows a little, they cut it - sometimes twice a week."

"They cut it?  Do they then bale it like hay?  That means’s it’s a way to feed more cattle."

"Not exactly, Lord.  Most of them rake it up and put it in bags."

"They bag it?  Why?  Is it a cash crop?  Do they sell it?"

"No, sir.  Just the opposite.  They pay to throw it away."

"Now let me get this straight.  They fertilize grass so it will grow.  And when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?"

"Yes, sir."

"These Suburbanites must be relieved in the winter when we cut back on the rain and turn down the heat.  That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work."

“You aren't going believe this Lord.  When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it."

"What nonsense!  At least they kept some of the trees.  That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself.  The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer.  In the autumn they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes.  Plus, as they rot, the leaves form compost to enhance the sandy soil.  It's a natural circle of life."

"You better sit down, Lord.  The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle.  As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and have them hauled away."

"No!  What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the summer and keep the soil moist and loose?"

"After throwing away your leaves, they go out and buy something they call mulch.  They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves."

"And where do they get this mulch?"

"They clear the cypress trees from the hammocks and grind them up."